Amidst an escalating crisis, and hard, devastating evidence of gross incompetence, if not criminal negligence, Secretary of Homeland Security, ,Michael Chertoff, emerged, looking like a Dungeon Daddy stepping out of a gay bathhouse after a torrid weekend on crystal meth, and unconvincingly attempted to defend FEMA. -- September 20, 2005

Four years since 9/11 America has evolved little since Mychael Judge, the gay chaplain was pulled from the ashes of the World Trade center after administering last rites to a fallen fireman, or Mark Bingham helped wrest control of Flight 93 from terrorist hijackers, potentially thwarting an even more devastating catastrophe. -- September 11, 2005

Michael Brown, Bush's Under Secretary of Homeland Security for Emergency Preparedness and Response, was about as effective in the preparation and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina as an unarmoured Humvee on the road from Baghdad Airport to the Green Zone. This clown is not only incompetent, he's one of the most cowardly fucks we've ever covered. "Good job Brownie," said President Bush, as his mother Barbara chuckled over the windfall the evacuees at the Astrodome in Houston scored. (She would have chuckled at how lucky Jews and queers were at Auschwitz, given how warm those ovens must have been in those nasty winters.)

Oh that the execution of our emergency response matched the response to our emergency executions. As our government stalled, clueless as to how to save lives or get people evacuated, the mechanisms to kill and deport them were up and running with the mechanical efficiency of a slick, well-oiled machine.