As the scandal widens, the roaches are running scared. Republican congressman, Mark Foley sent salacious instant messages to teenage pages that are enough to turn the stomach. With Mom in the house, no less. Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastert, among others, was aware of the inappropriate email, but was otherwise distracted. Sprinkles will do that, you know! -- October 2, 2006

It didn't take long for the media to begin pimping September 11th, and we predicted as much on the first anniversary. But ABC's docu-drama (ala James Frey) sleazes up the anniversary with politics and fabrications enough to give Mickey the clap and Minnie a yeast infection. Whore the tragedy now, whore it! -- September 11, 2006

The only thing left for Condoleezza Rice to do on her trip to Jerusalem is to turn around and headbutt Prime Minister Ehud Olmert in the chest. It may have lost the World Cup for France, but it certainly characterizes the bull-in-a-china-shop style of American diplomacy, and is the only thing left that might restore her credibility. -- July 22, 2006

A proposed Constitutional amendment to allow Congress to prohibit desecration of the flag fell a single vote short of approval by the Senate. The 66-to-34 vote on the amendment was one vote short of the 67 required to send the amendment to the states for potential ratification as the 28th Amendment. Frist and Hatch had a shit fit, but we had a solution. -- June 28, 2006