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Saturday, February 21, 2004

Same Sex Sanctity

by Clinton Fein

Sanctity: (n) : the quality of being holy: The state or quality of being sacred or holy; holiness; saintliness; moral purity; godliness.

All Because…

  1. Because sanctity is about holiness and sacredness and other such religious imputations and threatening to amend the Constitution to “protect the sanctity of marriage” is equivalent to constitutionally banning bullets to protect the right to bear arms.

  2. Because the government has no business managing the relationships of citizens (particularly given their inability to manage anything else effectively), and State sanctioned marriage ought to be outlawed, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

  3. Because certain tangible benefits of marriage confer important privileges on spouses, such as immigration, jurisdictional issues relating to full faith and credit clauses among states as well as countries, and thus requires that the debate be resolved.

  4. Because for gays and lesbians, strategically and tactically, the mimicking of a crippled, commercial, tainted and cheapened institution that has a higher than 50% failure rate is the most compelling evidence that the nuclear family as the ultimate objective toward which to strive, or optimal structure under which to raise a child, is a myth.

  5. Because until now, the failure of the institution of marriage was the only thing bigots and right wing zealots could not blame on gays.

  6. Because gay kids have enough to deal with and should not feel pressurized to find and marry a partner before they’re thirty, lest they be considered “on the shelf”.

  7. Because until the State buts the hell out of the business of marriage, gays should be given a tax break proportionate to the amount of money the government spends sanctioning, annulling, terminating and managing marriage and its attendant costs.

  8. Because the marriages of Britney Spears, Joe Millionaire, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, Liza Minnelli, Joe Scarborough, O.J Simpson, Rupert Murdoch, Henry Hyde, Bill Clinton, George Herbert Walker Bush, Neil Bush, Newt Gingrich, and an endless list of quick, cheap, shotgun, adulterous, cheating, conniving marriage mockeries have done more to cheapen the institution than MSNBC or Fox has to the profession of journalism.

  9. Because all the hypocrites claiming a desire to “protect marriage” need to put their cash where their fat mouths are and prove their commitment by first banning divorce before working to prevent people from marrying. (And which I’ve advocated for as long as Annoy.com has been around -- see Marriage Once).

  10. Because all the bigoted psychopaths accusing gays of promiscuity as a reason to deny them the right to make a long term commitment to one person ought to be committed themselves – to a mental institution.

  11. Because every demented freak screaming that gays are flaunting their sexuality need to take a long, hard look at their wedding rings, and realize that before long, a tattoo on their foreheads are about all that will be left for them to flaunt theirs.

  12. Because reliance on genetics alone, (despite many people being ostracized facing discrimination, ridicule and violence on a daily basis and who would sooner choose death than their homosexuality), undermines the basic fact that even if it is one, it’s a perfectly legitimate social choice.

  13. Because anyone who would deprive children of loving parents by denying unmarried couples right to adopt and denying couples the right to marry should be willing to adopt or pay for any and every child that is deprived as a result of such idiocy.

  14. Because at the end of the day, any glib, sanctimonious moron who genuinely believes that their sexual preference for one orifice -- mere inches apart from another -- or gratification of appendages based on hardness or softness, better qualifies them to raise a family, guide children or contribute to the greater social good must have their entire head stuck up their own not-so-pretty orifice.

The Silence of the Sodomites
By Clinton Fein
August 8, 2003

Marriage, Once
By Clinton Fein
March 7, 1997

Same Sex Sanctity

As San Francisco single-handedly destroyed an institution better than divorce could ever.

Book Unburned

Why am I here? If Daddy hadn't taught me all this hateful rhetoric, I could be having fun like everyone else instead of standing in San Francisco like a village idiot with a Nazi flag. All these faggots teasing me about having a hard-on. Jews, the whole damn lot of them.

The Educators

Handing out pamphlets advising people not to have sex with IV drug users, bisexuals or blacks. So why do they love AIDS? Seems like the abstinence education is really working wonders.

All The Help He Can Get

Jesus, it seems, cannot save without a little help from tough looking "straight" boys who seem a little too preoccupied with gay sex. From City Hall to the sex clubs? Whoever will Jason Storms, a member of Repent America, a religious group out of Philidelphia, be helping save next?

Hey Girlfriend

Well, my guy's kind of short, has a high pitched voice and viscerally hates anyone Jewish, black or gay. One day when we marry, we'll show the world what sanctity is. No, we're not from the city.

Damn You!

After being told that he was being considered for homosexual agenda recruiting purposes, but was rejected because of the cold sore, it's difficult to say what upset him more.

That Jesus Guy Again!

One day I'm gonna stop running around the country telling guys how wrong gay sex is. Right now it's hard for a gal to tie me down, because a lot of guys still need me to save them. Mark Diener of Lancaster, Pa., a member of Repent America.

Oh My Dear God!

This is what it's all about. Your marriage, your identity, your spirituality, your faith, your compassion, your nucleus, your center, your essence, your family, your home and your life are all threatened because these two women married one another. Call 1-800-BLADE and we'll direct you to your wrists.

Not Tim McVeigh

Look at all these perverts. I'm not gay. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. David and Jonathan were just friends and these perverts won't tell me otherwise. I'm strong. I'm muscular, like Samson. Out damn thoughts, out. I love women, I want to marry one. I promise. Praise be Jesus.


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