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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Happy Fucking Holidays

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Happy Fucking Holidays
May You Rest in Peace
Happy Fucking Days Ahead
May Wartime Never Cease.

Contract Deals for Everyone
That’s if you’re USA
Who you fucked and who you paid
Will surely help today.

Happy Fucking Hanukah
May God Bless the Jews
Ariel Walls to Reinforce
Wolfowitz’s Views.

Halliburton Stocking Stuffers
Raise the Price of Oil
Toxic River Runoff Markups
Saddam Christmas Spoil.

Happy Fucking Nation Building
Russia, Germany, France
Happy bidding, fuck all giving
Canada stands no chance.

Bewildered Soldiers, Sad Insurgents
Desperate highs and lows
In cold caves in Afghanistan
The Taliban quickly grows.

Happy Fucking Christmas Day
Who could wish for more?
Occupation Anticlimax
Neocons keeping score.

Democratic Demagogues
Rumsfeld’s on the Loose
Lethal weapons, cold injections
The Ashcroft era noose.

Happy Fucking New Year Wishes
Liberate your Soul
There’s nothing left that’s free at all
But freedom’s not the goal.

Mission Accomplished
November 3, 2003

Osama bin Hussein
February 12, 2003

United Emirates of America
February 28, 2003

Faith Based
March 14, 2002


Merry Muslim Christmas
By Clinton Fein
December 19, 2003

King Con
By Clinton fein
September 11, 2003


Said the Shepherd Boys
Mission Accomplished
Don't Cry For Me Nigeria
Burka Burning!


One hundred and twenty-three years after Luigi Galvani electrocuted a dead frog, making its muscles contract and its legs twitch, a crowd gathered at Coney Island waiting to see an execution. Topsy the Elephant had killed three people, and even if one of them had fed her a lit cigarette, no one was much interested in granting clemency. Luna Park on Coney Island featured a number of elephants who gave rides to the amusement park's guests, and there was no way that they were going to let a rogue elephant remain at the park. The concept of animal cruelty being a more flexible one then; the ASPCA had objected to the original plan to hang Topsy, so unlike Mary the elephant, hanged in 1916, Topsy was going to die in the most modern and humane way possible: she was going to be electrocuted. The man behind Topsy's execution was the "Wizard of Menlo Park" and father of direct current electricity, Thomas Edison.

The death of Topsy,, September 24, 2002

Big Mary the Circus Elephant killed her trainer, one Walter "Red" Eldridge, on September 12, 1916. The citizenry of East Tennessee called for blood. Attempts to both electrocute and shoot Mary to death failed, and dismemberment was considered "cruel," so the decision was made to hang her from a railroad derrick car. A crowd of 5,000 witnessed the vigilante justice. The 'Hanging of Big Mary' took place in the same year that Tennessee introduced their new Electric Chair, and promptly executed Julius Morgan on scant evidence of Rape.

Case #2: State of Tennessee v. 'Big Mary' the Elephant, The Implements and History of the United States Death Penalty, The Museum of Justice Obscured

What might normally be an impertinent and perhaps offensive question suddenly seems entirely reasonable after hearing George W. Bush’s ungrammatical but passionate pledge to defend the tax cuts his administration provided to the richest, smallest segment of American citizens, at the cost of his own life if need be. The vow he uttered during his town-hall meeting in California over the weekend—"Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes!"—was the strongest he’s made on any subject since his promise to deliver Osama bin Laden to justice "dead or alive." [...]

[...] Two days before Christmas, Rudolph Giuliani, a devout but not excessively rigorous Catholic, announced his own opinion that "there was some divine guidance in the President being elected." In this sentiment, the Time magazine "Man of the Year" was swiftly seconded by a Catholic bishop. (Again, a skeptic might impiously wonder why the Lord didn’t simply bless Mr. Bush with the actual majority of votes. But faith is nothing without mystery.)

Joe Conason, Is George W. Bush God’s President?, The New York Observer, January 14, 2002

Over the next five years, my country will spend $15bn to fight Aids around the world...You are not alone. America has decided to act...I believe God has called us into action. Our country has got a responsibility, we are a great nation, we are a wealthy nation, we have a responsibility to help a neighbour in need, a brother and sister in crisis.

President George W. Bush, Remarks by the President to the AIDS Support Organization Centre, Entebbe, Uganda, July 11, 2003


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