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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Cry-Baby





Remorseful Randy, Dainty Duke
Weepy, wimpy, makes you puke
Cunningless Corruption, Graciousless greed
Ethicless embodiment, see it bleed

Mascara-running Martha-Ann
The weeping Ms. Alito
Fedora donning gangster turncoat
Convincing incognito

Responsibility inability
Accountability freeze
Tearful tell alls, truthless grace falls
Sentimental sleaze

Embellished tales, increasing sales
Rotten from the core
The lies inept, the mounting debt
And still we beg for more
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NOISE

Poor Martha-Ann Alito cracked under the onslaught of vicious smears and insideous innuendo hurled at her humble and honorable husband by the dumber than dirt Democrats on the Judicial Committee. After thousands of their words and hours of demeaning stage play by Democratic hatchet men, Kennedy, Schumer and the mouth, Biden; (although handled patiently, calmly and professionally by Judge Alito)..Mrs.Alito's lips quivered and she broke down in tears of disappointment & sympathy over the relentless, undeserving attacks on her husband's character and remarkable life achievements.

Kay Ryan, Alito Battle Cry...Splash Kennedy douses spouse, Little Mercy, January 13, 2006


The power of tears prompted lefty bloggers and Internet commentators to speculate that Martha-Ann might have faked them, that the tears were a "Rovian cue." Translation: She who cries, wins.

What are the rules about crying in public? Someone should figure these out, because we're stumped. Crying is seen as wimpy, unless it's seen as a sign of strength. Former congresswoman Pat Schroeder (D-Colo.), who memorably broke down upon announcing that she would not seek the Democratic nomination for president in 1988, leading to assumptions that she was too emotional, says that after the incident, she kept a file of all politicians who cried publicly.

"I never knew why it was a big deal that I cried, but not when Margaret Thatcher cried," she says.

Libby Copeland, Debating The Tissues: What Makes A Good Cry, Washington Post, January 13, 2006


10 Things that make or have made Sammy “Alize” Alito’s Wife Cry (because they called him “Alize” Alito at Princeton…obviously)

10) When she accidentally leaves a wrinkle in her husband’s baseball uniform (he dresses in a full uniform to coach his son’s Little League Baseball games). AND by crying at a baseball game she breaks a sacred tenet laid down in the epic film, “A League of Their Own”: There’s no crying in baseball.

9) Whenever she thinks about how in the 7th Grade people called her “Bombs Bomgardner.” (for her massive breasts)

8) When “Laverne and Shirley” was canceled (she had a crush on Squiggy).

7) When her husband refuses to check for monsters under the bed.

6) When Brad Pitt left Jennifer Aniston (but hey, weren’t we all emotionally decimated)

5) Whenever Animals Attack (the woman is a sucker for Fox television, and anything to do with big Rupe)

4) Whenever people call her a trashy Jersey ho. (the Alito’s are from West Caldwell, N.J.)

3) Whenever Laurel Gets Incensed with Hardy and/or when Abbot grows angry With Costello

2) When People try to spread their “cockamie” (the note’s words not mine) theories about man descending from monkeys.

1) During Sex

Jeff Weiss, The Passion of the Weiss, January 16, 2006


Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham, R-Escondido, responded to a heckler at a San Diego forum on prostate cancer by gesturing toward him with his finger and declaring, “(expletive) you.” During his remarks at the weekend event, the congressman also described a rectal procedure he had received as “just not natural, unless maybe you’re Barney Frank,” a reference to the openly gay lawmaker from Massachusetts.

Cunningham later apologized, saying his actions were inappropriate for a member of Congress. He certainly got that right.

But this was not the first time Cunningham let his temper get the better of him.

In 1995, Capitol Hill police had to break up a scuffle between the San Diego County lawmaker and Rep. James Moran, D-Va. A year earlier, Cunningham challenged Rep. David Obey, D-Wis., to a physical confrontation on the House floor. On another occasion, he used the degrading term “homos” to describe gays in the armed forces.

As a four-term veteran of the House, Cunningham has exerted constructive leadership on important military and education issues. But his reputation for vulgar conduct — a reputation he seems intent on reinforcing at regular intervals, despite his own repeated apologies — is an embarrassment to San Diego.

Some indisputably low conduct in a high office, San Diego Union Tribune, September 10, 1998


Congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham resigned in disgrace yesterday after admitting he took more than $2.4 million in bribes to help defense contractors land lucrative government contracts.

"This was a crime of unprecedented magnitude and extraordinary audacity," U.S. Attorney Carol Lam said after the haggard-looking Vietnam war fighter ace pleaded guilty to conspiracy and tax evasion charges in San Diego federal court. [...]

[...] "I broke the law, concealed my conduct, and disgraced my high office," he said in a brief statement afterward.

"I know that I will forfeit my freedom, my reputation, my worldly possessions, and most importantly," he said, pausing to wipe away tears, "the trust of my friends and family."

Rep. Cunningham resigns; took $2.4 million in bribes, San Diego Union Tribune, November 29, 2005


On January 11, 2006 Frey appeared on Larry King Live on CNN. He defended his work while simultaneously admitting to embellishing his stories. Frey consistently referred to the reality of his addiction, which he said was the principal point of his work. Oprah Winfrey called in at the end of the show and gave her support to Frey, but expressed her dismay with the publisher for not telling her about the embellishments. Winfrey removed the references to Frey's work on the main page of her webpage, but left references in the Oprah's Book Club section earlier in the week.

James Frey, Wikipedia



 
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